"Auntie Lauren"

Auntie Lauren. I have never been an aunt and I know I am not the aunt of these little children here, but when I hear little Esther look at me and utter Auntie Lauren, my heart just breaks. It is one of the sweetest names I have ever been able to call my own. Today was my second day working with the children here at Amecet and it is wonderful and difficult all in the same breath.
There are two babies, Dennis and Angela, who are both really sick right now. They aren’t taking any of the food given to them even when they are tube fed and haven’t progressed from their sick state even with the medicine. Sometimes you feel helpless because there is nothing you can do to ease their pain, and it feels like you are just watching them die. I don’t know how to deal with that yet, and I have a feeling I never will. It breaks your heart and there is no real answer as to why it is happening to them.
Other times, I get to just hold and feed little ones that are getting stronger by the day. There is one little boy named Godfred and I am sure there has never been a baby as sweet or as beautiful as him. His smile really could melt a thousand hearts all at once. Or other times Esther, who is just learning to walk and talk, toddles up to me lays her head on my lap and just repeats over and over, auntie Lauren. Nothing is as sweet.
I guess you could say I am learning a lot right now about pain and brokenness. I don’t really know where God is leading me, but He has me in this place to teach me. I am beginning to understand the lyrics to “Blessed be Your Name” where it states, “You give and take away, still I will say, blessed be your name.”
Please be praying hard for Dennis and Angela when you have the chance. We aren’t sure how much longer they will be with us.