So today, Simon and Steven, the local directors for YWAM Soroti, were here at the Amecet base and they were looking “smart”. Now when I arrived to Uganda, I thought that looking smart meant that I looked intelligent, however here, its means to look handsome/beautiful and virtually anyone who dresses up in nice clothes “looks smart”. So I asked Simon and Steve what the occasion was for being dressed up, and they said that they were headed to a traditional marriage.
Here came the next question, what is a traditional marriage here in Uganda? In a traditional marriage, the groom and his family are introduced to society along with the bride’s family, while the bride is kept locked up in a house near by. They go into a meeting room and they bargain for hours on the price of the bride, that’s right, the price of the bride. So while this seemed like some sort of legalized slavery, I asked what the going rate was for a bride which led to a whole separate shock. “About seven cows,” was the answer. “Seven cows? You mean they buy the bride with cows?” This was their concept of a dowry. Steve saw my shocked look and said “well not only cows, there are goats, and camels, and donkeys…” and so on and so on as he listed the different animals that were considered dowry worthy.
They continued to explain that once the groom and his family had settled on the number of cows/livestock wanted for the bride, then the bride and groom were given permission to marry. Sometimes, however, they never settle on the number, and there is no wedding. “But they marry for love?” I injected. “Of course, Apapero.” (Apapero is my new Ateso name which I am convinced means crazy muzungu, but they assure me it means friendly one.) His assurance gave me some sort of peace of mind, then chuckling, he looked back at me and asked “Apapero, so, how many cows are you worth?”
Well dad? How many cows? I am hoping you say that you wouldn’t settle for less than ten camels, but hey – that’s your bargain.
Till next time,
Wondering about her worth in cows,
Lauren
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
"But You Will Make Me Strong Again."
I don’t really know where to begin. I feel like I have written and rewritten this and yet cannot find the words, the reasoning, that I want to give. These last few days I feel like I have woven my way in and out of sadness and joy, pain and comfort, confusion and certainty.
You know a year ago, if I had been in the place that I am in now, I don’t think I would understand, because my world back then consisted of only black and white. God has been adding gray tones and throwing me off what I thought was the only truth about Him. He says “who knows the mind of God, or who has ever instructed Him?” I haven’t. I used to like to fit God into a box that I could understand, but God has broken that box. I’ve been limiting him. Because you see when God is in a box, he is predictable, he is understandable, but outside of a box he is dangerous, he is too far beyond us. Like C.S. Lewis wrote depicting the Jesus character in his beloved “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”, Jesus Christ isn’t safe – he is a roaring lion – but He is good, and He is the King.
I don’t understand his ways. I don’t. I have only begun to scratch the surface, and I think God reminds me of that by bringing me into times of brokenness. In those moments, all I have is Him. It leads me to the throne of grace, to sit before the king, and ask him, and inquire of his being and all that he is.
God has brought me back into one of those times. Two nights ago, one of our babies died. Her name was Margaret and she was three months old. Margaret was a Down syndrome baby and was two months premature. She came to Amecet the day of her birth when her mother died, but she never took to the treatment we gave her, and after the first two months she stopped eating on her own. We began feeding her through a tube, but Margaret never progressed. Last week, Margaret got pneumonia and her little lungs couldn’t handle the stress. We put her on oxygen, but her body wasn’t adjusting and her little heart couldn’t cope with the trauma.
I stayed up with her all night while Els, the director of Amecet, was in and out. Her heart beat was very irregular and at two o’clock in the morning, her heart stopped. Margaret fell asleep and didn’t wake up. I’ve never experienced death that close before. I know that Margaret is in Jesus’ arms right now. She doesn’t have Down syndrome anymore and she doesn’t have pain anymore. I know that Jesus saw her in her pain and said “You’ve endured enough, come home,” and I know that he is good.
But her death broke me. It broke many of the staff’s heart. It broke her father’s heart – she was his only daughter, his only family left. I don’t understand that. I am still working through this. It brought me back to the throne of grace, back into a place where I am pressing into Him. I am weak now, I am broken, but I am not destroyed. Like the psalmist wrote, “You have shown me many troubles of all kinds. But you will make me strong again. And you will bring me up again from deep in the earth.” Psalm 71:20
Learning brokenness,
Pressing into Him,
Lauren
You know a year ago, if I had been in the place that I am in now, I don’t think I would understand, because my world back then consisted of only black and white. God has been adding gray tones and throwing me off what I thought was the only truth about Him. He says “who knows the mind of God, or who has ever instructed Him?” I haven’t. I used to like to fit God into a box that I could understand, but God has broken that box. I’ve been limiting him. Because you see when God is in a box, he is predictable, he is understandable, but outside of a box he is dangerous, he is too far beyond us. Like C.S. Lewis wrote depicting the Jesus character in his beloved “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”, Jesus Christ isn’t safe – he is a roaring lion – but He is good, and He is the King.
I don’t understand his ways. I don’t. I have only begun to scratch the surface, and I think God reminds me of that by bringing me into times of brokenness. In those moments, all I have is Him. It leads me to the throne of grace, to sit before the king, and ask him, and inquire of his being and all that he is.
God has brought me back into one of those times. Two nights ago, one of our babies died. Her name was Margaret and she was three months old. Margaret was a Down syndrome baby and was two months premature. She came to Amecet the day of her birth when her mother died, but she never took to the treatment we gave her, and after the first two months she stopped eating on her own. We began feeding her through a tube, but Margaret never progressed. Last week, Margaret got pneumonia and her little lungs couldn’t handle the stress. We put her on oxygen, but her body wasn’t adjusting and her little heart couldn’t cope with the trauma.
I stayed up with her all night while Els, the director of Amecet, was in and out. Her heart beat was very irregular and at two o’clock in the morning, her heart stopped. Margaret fell asleep and didn’t wake up. I’ve never experienced death that close before. I know that Margaret is in Jesus’ arms right now. She doesn’t have Down syndrome anymore and she doesn’t have pain anymore. I know that Jesus saw her in her pain and said “You’ve endured enough, come home,” and I know that he is good.
But her death broke me. It broke many of the staff’s heart. It broke her father’s heart – she was his only daughter, his only family left. I don’t understand that. I am still working through this. It brought me back to the throne of grace, back into a place where I am pressing into Him. I am weak now, I am broken, but I am not destroyed. Like the psalmist wrote, “You have shown me many troubles of all kinds. But you will make me strong again. And you will bring me up again from deep in the earth.” Psalm 71:20
Learning brokenness,
Pressing into Him,
Lauren
Monday, June 16, 2008
This is for the Glory of God
Family and Friends,
I thought I would update you on the matter I asked you to pray for last week: Dennis. He has had a unrelenting fever for months and after laying hands on him and rebuking the fever, it left him. He also was vomiting up most of his tube fed food and after declaring deliverance, he stopped vomiting. He has been feverless and has not vomited in over five consecutive days! Praise the Lord.
Then on Saturday night three other girls and I laid our hands on him and prayed. God showed up in a beautiful way and one of the girls just prayed that a spirit of hope would rest upon Dennis and that we, as his intercessors, would live in a spirit of praise despite the outcome. The next evening, Els, the base director, placed a bowl of rice and meat before Dennis, as she usually does, hoping for a change, and Dennis picked up a piece of meat and began to eat. Dennis hasn’t eaten without a tube in over four months! How great is our God.
We are still praying for complete healing and I would encourage you to continue bringing Dennis before the throne of grace, but I just wanted to encourage you and point you to the author of life and the healer of all, Jesus Christ. I was so encouraged and I wanted to thank you all for standing with me and for declaring healing over this young boy. God has healed him and it is so beautiful to see him sit and play and smile with the other children. Praise the Lord!
Thank you Lord that this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God that the Son of God might be glorified by it. John 11:4
I thought I would update you on the matter I asked you to pray for last week: Dennis. He has had a unrelenting fever for months and after laying hands on him and rebuking the fever, it left him. He also was vomiting up most of his tube fed food and after declaring deliverance, he stopped vomiting. He has been feverless and has not vomited in over five consecutive days! Praise the Lord.
Then on Saturday night three other girls and I laid our hands on him and prayed. God showed up in a beautiful way and one of the girls just prayed that a spirit of hope would rest upon Dennis and that we, as his intercessors, would live in a spirit of praise despite the outcome. The next evening, Els, the base director, placed a bowl of rice and meat before Dennis, as she usually does, hoping for a change, and Dennis picked up a piece of meat and began to eat. Dennis hasn’t eaten without a tube in over four months! How great is our God.
We are still praying for complete healing and I would encourage you to continue bringing Dennis before the throne of grace, but I just wanted to encourage you and point you to the author of life and the healer of all, Jesus Christ. I was so encouraged and I wanted to thank you all for standing with me and for declaring healing over this young boy. God has healed him and it is so beautiful to see him sit and play and smile with the other children. Praise the Lord!
Thank you Lord that this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God that the Son of God might be glorified by it. John 11:4
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Family, Friends, and Fellow Warriors,
I am calling us to battle, a battle of prayer, that is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and kingdoms of darkness. There is a young boy here at Amecet, where I am working, named Dennis. Dennis is our sickest child here and is constantly on the edge of death. I have been praying for a while about Dennis and I was reminded the other day by my mom that sometimes in order to bring healing and restoration, fasting and prayer need to be involved. My heart is so heavy for him. He is HIV+, he has Tuberculosis, and a lung disease, he is no longer eating on his own, but is constantly living off of tube feeding and several medications a day. He has had fever almost consistantly for four months and he is only a year and seven months old. He cannot walk, or crawl. He does not talk but most of the time is moaning with pain or screaming with pain.
I have a feeling as well that this isnt just about his health. A lot of hexes and curses and withcraft are going on here in Uganda, and I am pretty sure that a spiritual force is over him, convincing him not to eat and causing him to continually vomit up the tube-fed food. It's killing him. I am asking you all, as fellow believers, to take up the sword of the spirit and go into battle with me for Dennis. I have been reading a book recently called 'The Sword of the Spirit, The Word of God' and it quotes the book of Acts saying 'Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus' (Acts 4:29-30). So, let us speak out God's word with great boldnes and ask God to stretch out his hand to heal.
This week, I am going to be fasting praying and on Saturday, a group from the YWAM base in Soroti are coming together to lay hands on Dennis and pray over him. I am asking all who are willing and able to stand with me and fast and pray on Saturday, and declare Dennis' healing in the Name of Jesus Christ. Expect God to move in a mighty way. I am attaching a sheet of scriptures to pray out over Dennis.
Let's use the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God, to rebuke his fever, and denounce all spiritual strongholds, and declare healing over this baby. The scriptures are written in a fashion for prayers and can be found in the book 'The Sword of the Spirit, The Word of God', by Joy Lamb. Please be praying!
Standing in His truth,
Lauren Conrad
Healing Scriptures
Thank you Lord that you have promised to pardon all our iniquities and to heal all our diseases. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 103:3
Thank you Lord that You will heal those who are sick and say to them, ‘the Kingdom of God has come neat to you.’ In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 10:9
Thank you Lord that at this very time you will cure those people of disease and afflictions and evil spirits and you will grant sight to those who are blind. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 7:21
Thank you Lord that this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God that the Son of God might be glorified by it. In the name of Jesus Christ.
John 11:4
Thank you Lord that you will bring them health and you will cure them, and reveal unto them an abundance of peace and truth. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 33:6
Heal them O Lord, and they will be healed, save them and they will be saved. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 17:14
Thank you Lord that you will feel compassion for them and heal those who are sick. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 14:14
Oh Lord my God, Thank you that they cried out to you for help, and you healed them. O Lord you have brought their soul from Sheol (death). You have kept them alive that they should not go down to the pit. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 30:2-3
Thank you Lord that you sent your Word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 107:20
Thank you Lord that you will have compassion on the afflicted. In the name of Jesus.
Isaiah 49:13
Thank you Lord that we being to you many who are demon possessed: and you will cast out the spirits with a word and heal all those who are ill, in order that what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet might be fulfilled saying ‘He himself took their infirmities and carried away their diseases.’ In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 8:16-17
Thank you Lord that you will sustain them upon their sickbed. In their illness you will restore them to heath. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 41:3
Thank you Lord that the power of the Lord is present for Jesus to perform healing. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 5:17
Thank you Lord that when you stand over them and rebuke the fever it will leave them. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 4:39
Thank you Lord that those who believe in you, the works that you did, they shall do also and even greater works than what Jesus did they shall do, because you are with the father and whatever they ask in your name, that will you do, that the father may be glorified in the son. In the name of Jesus Christ.
John 14:11-14
Thank you Lord that you have told us that this is the sign of believers. That they lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Mark 16:18
Thank you Lord that the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick. In the name of Jesus Christ.
James 5:15
Thank you Lord that you will heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among these people. Thank you Lord that we, as intercessors, will bring to you all who are ill, taken with various diseases and pains, and you will heal them. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 4:23-24
Thank you Lord that you will anoint us with the Holy Spirit and with power, and we will go about doing good and healing all who are oppressed by the devil; for you are with us. In the name of Jesus Christ.
2 Kings 20:5
Thank you Lord that all things they ask in prayer, believing, they shall receive. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 21:22
Thank you Lord that you will say to the dead “get up!” And the dead will sit up and begin to talk. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 7:14- 15
Thank you Lord that you are the God who performs miracles; thank you that you display your power among the people. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 77:14
Thank you Lord that you have promised to pardon all our iniquities and to heal all our diseases. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 103:3
Thank you Lord that You will heal those who are sick and say to them, ‘the Kingdom of God has come neat to you.’ In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 10:9
Thank you Lord that at this very time you will cure those people of disease and afflictions and evil spirits and you will grant sight to those who are blind. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 7:21
Thank you Lord that this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God that the Son of God might be glorified by it. In the name of Jesus Christ.
John 11:4
Thank you Lord that you will bring them health and you will cure them, and reveal unto them an abundance of peace and truth. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 33:6
Heal them O Lord, and they will be healed, save them and they will be saved. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 17:14
Thank you Lord that you will feel compassion for them and heal those who are sick. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 14:14
Oh Lord my God, Thank you that they cried out to you for help, and you healed them. O Lord you have brought their soul from Sheol (death). You have kept them alive that they should not go down to the pit. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 30:2-3
Thank you Lord that you sent your Word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 107:20
Thank you Lord that you will have compassion on the afflicted. In the name of Jesus.
Isaiah 49:13
Thank you Lord that we being to you many who are demon possessed: and you will cast out the spirits with a word and heal all those who are ill, in order that what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet might be fulfilled saying ‘He himself took their infirmities and carried away their diseases.’ In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 8:16-17
Thank you Lord that you will sustain them upon their sickbed. In their illness you will restore them to heath. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 41:3
Thank you Lord that the power of the Lord is present for Jesus to perform healing. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 5:17
Thank you Lord that when you stand over them and rebuke the fever it will leave them. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 4:39
Thank you Lord that those who believe in you, the works that you did, they shall do also and even greater works than what Jesus did they shall do, because you are with the father and whatever they ask in your name, that will you do, that the father may be glorified in the son. In the name of Jesus Christ.
John 14:11-14
Thank you Lord that you have told us that this is the sign of believers. That they lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Mark 16:18
Thank you Lord that the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick. In the name of Jesus Christ.
James 5:15
Thank you Lord that you will heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among these people. Thank you Lord that we, as intercessors, will bring to you all who are ill, taken with various diseases and pains, and you will heal them. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 4:23-24
Thank you Lord that you will anoint us with the Holy Spirit and with power, and we will go about doing good and healing all who are oppressed by the devil; for you are with us. In the name of Jesus Christ.
2 Kings 20:5
Thank you Lord that all things they ask in prayer, believing, they shall receive. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 21:22
Thank you Lord that you will say to the dead “get up!” And the dead will sit up and begin to talk. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Luke 7:14- 15
Thank you Lord that you are the God who performs miracles; thank you that you display your power among the people. In the name of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 77:14
Friday, June 6, 2008
You Are Loved
African worship is beautiful. There is dancing, and shouting and singing. There is no holding back in African worship and I know God delights in it. It is just beautiful to Him, and I have been enjoying it as well. But as you can imagine, sometimes I just need intimate quiet times of worship as well. I love to dance, I love to shout, I love to sing at the top of my lungs, but I love to sit, and I love to feel God’s presence in an intimate way as well. African believers know very well how to enter into His courts with thanksgiving and praise, but there isn’t much of “being still and knowing that He is God,” if you know what I mean.
The other day, I went to service held at the YWAM Soroti base, and we were praising God. There was a young woman that began to praise God in Ateso, and I had no clue what she was saying. In my other adventures in Latin America, I could figure out the words, but here I am left in the dark. So I just began to pray that God would show me how to praise him in the midst of a language barrier and cultural barrier as well. I was determined to praise him whether I felt like it or not, so I just sought his heart. Meanwhile the African people were jumping and singing and dancing and reveling in God. One older woman waddled up to me and shouted in my ear “God, he loves me, He really loves me”. I am sure you have experienced the Holy Spirit move, but I had never experienced him move so powerfully before. It was as if Jesus Christ walked into the room and put arms around me and said, “Lauren, I love you, I really love you.” I just stood there and tears poured out of my eyes. It was as if the hard shell around my heart was torn down and love, intimate, passionate, pursuing love, was spoken right to it. I must have looked silly. Little muzungu crying at an Ateso song, but in that moment God reminded me, as he so often does, that he loves me.
After the service God just kept on speaking to me, and he really laid it on my heart to write about it. I am convinced that we don’t understand his love. I know I don’t. He is wildly in love with each and every one of us. He is intimately involved and engaged in our lives. Paul said that nothing could separate us from his love. Nothing. “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any power, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Savior” (Romans 8 8:38-39).
I wish I could look each of you in the eyes and just tell you “He is radically in love with you. No one has ever or can ever love you as he does. His love is relentless. He is crazy about you and no one can take that away. No sin, no failure can ever make him love you less. No achievement, no greatness can ever make him love you more. He is so in love with you.” Jesus Christ, the son of the living God, is wildly, passionately, relentlessly, in love with you. He thinks about you constantly. He never leaves your side. He is right there with you.
Even after writing this, I don’t understand, but I know that He will continue to reveal it to me and to you. My words and my writing cannot express his love for you, it is merely a poor reflection of the reality of his pure love for you. But take joy in the fact that you are loved without bound or limit, that the God of the universe is so intimately involved in your life that he created you and knows everything about you. No one has ever or will ever love you like he does.
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes about the love of God moving us to action. "The only lasting freedom from self-consciousness comes from a profound awareness that God loves me as I am, not as I should be. He loves me beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity. He loves me in the morning sun and the evening rain without caution, regret, boundary, limit, or breaking point; that no matter what I do, He cannot stop loving me. When I am really in conscious communion with the reality of the wild, passionate, relentless, stubborn, pursuing, tender love of God in Jesus Christ for me, then it’s not what I’ve got to or I must or I should or I ought; suddenly I want to change because I know how deeply I am loved.” Brennan Manning
In His Loving Hands,
Lauren
The other day, I went to service held at the YWAM Soroti base, and we were praising God. There was a young woman that began to praise God in Ateso, and I had no clue what she was saying. In my other adventures in Latin America, I could figure out the words, but here I am left in the dark. So I just began to pray that God would show me how to praise him in the midst of a language barrier and cultural barrier as well. I was determined to praise him whether I felt like it or not, so I just sought his heart. Meanwhile the African people were jumping and singing and dancing and reveling in God. One older woman waddled up to me and shouted in my ear “God, he loves me, He really loves me”. I am sure you have experienced the Holy Spirit move, but I had never experienced him move so powerfully before. It was as if Jesus Christ walked into the room and put arms around me and said, “Lauren, I love you, I really love you.” I just stood there and tears poured out of my eyes. It was as if the hard shell around my heart was torn down and love, intimate, passionate, pursuing love, was spoken right to it. I must have looked silly. Little muzungu crying at an Ateso song, but in that moment God reminded me, as he so often does, that he loves me.
After the service God just kept on speaking to me, and he really laid it on my heart to write about it. I am convinced that we don’t understand his love. I know I don’t. He is wildly in love with each and every one of us. He is intimately involved and engaged in our lives. Paul said that nothing could separate us from his love. Nothing. “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any power, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Savior” (Romans 8 8:38-39).
I wish I could look each of you in the eyes and just tell you “He is radically in love with you. No one has ever or can ever love you as he does. His love is relentless. He is crazy about you and no one can take that away. No sin, no failure can ever make him love you less. No achievement, no greatness can ever make him love you more. He is so in love with you.” Jesus Christ, the son of the living God, is wildly, passionately, relentlessly, in love with you. He thinks about you constantly. He never leaves your side. He is right there with you.
Even after writing this, I don’t understand, but I know that He will continue to reveal it to me and to you. My words and my writing cannot express his love for you, it is merely a poor reflection of the reality of his pure love for you. But take joy in the fact that you are loved without bound or limit, that the God of the universe is so intimately involved in your life that he created you and knows everything about you. No one has ever or will ever love you like he does.
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes about the love of God moving us to action. "The only lasting freedom from self-consciousness comes from a profound awareness that God loves me as I am, not as I should be. He loves me beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity. He loves me in the morning sun and the evening rain without caution, regret, boundary, limit, or breaking point; that no matter what I do, He cannot stop loving me. When I am really in conscious communion with the reality of the wild, passionate, relentless, stubborn, pursuing, tender love of God in Jesus Christ for me, then it’s not what I’ve got to or I must or I should or I ought; suddenly I want to change because I know how deeply I am loved.” Brennan Manning
In His Loving Hands,
Lauren
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Some of the "new" loves of my life
Here are some of the children that I have digital images of so far. There are 17 here in the shelter, but I figured I would post some pictures so that you can have a face to pray for. Double click on the picture to enlarge it and the names are at the bottom! Enjoy the new loves of my life.
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